Eroguro Neurosis

by Vuota

supported by
Carl Neomalthusian
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Carl Neomalthusian A lo-fi dreamy ballad drawn in an abyssal environment. Favorite track: Short Breaths.
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Cassette released on HUMAN SYSTEM in late March, 2012.


released February 5, 2012

all music composed, arranged and recorded in Renoise & Reaper between december 2010 & february 2012

all music, vocals & lyrics: Aaron K
creative/tech support: Chris B (verwustung) & Ken H (span centipede)

SPECIAL THANKS: Johnny Q (persistent monologue), Ross W (memorial weekend), Tyler K (vio/ator), Justin U, Monte D (mountain goat), Niles H, Jeff H, Chris B (UK), Kazuya O, Cass B, Arran R, Sam L, Tim L



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Track Name: A Gale Across The Hills
I'm leaving,
leaving all this behind.
Can't go on acting like
I'm doing fine.
I can't believe
I never tried,
never did this until now.

Nothing else makes sense.
Nobody gives a shit about me anyway.
This seems like the best place,
the best place to stop everything
long overdue for an end.

We see so many hollow faces looking to sleep.
All desp'rate souls with no direction to follow or
reason to be.
Their numbers growing at
such a maddeningly sick pace,
and their faces much more pale.
What went wrong?
Where has
hope gone?

Tainted ground
Shame and sorrow in their hearts
Frustrated weakness
Harmful doubt clouding their thoughts
Track Name: Short Breaths
One kiss, my charming sweetheart.
Can't you stay for one more night?
Every moment spent without you I'm in pain.

To run my fingers all along your back and feel you
taking control of me,
it's a part of what makes me whole.

You still insist on having others,
when I am all you want.
You know you can't compare them to me, you
would be wrong to try.

Do I have to do something drastic
just to keep you to myself?
Maybe next time, when you're sleeping.

While our rapturous screaming throughout the day
is enough to keep me going on,
it's only temporary
and I want it to be for good.

The human body's a fragile thing that
will give out under the
slightest bit of strain, this won't take very much.

And, well, you did not come when I called you.
You did not come at noon.
The same thing we've been playing with
is what will end you soon.

You know exactly what will happen
when you close your eyes.
You knew it was destined,
and that I'd take my prize.
I expected horror, dismay
to show upon your face,
but the way you accept it
really serves your grace.

(You will always be here
and nobody will have you
but me.)
Track Name: Torches in the Dark
They don't even care.
They don't even get it.
I'm just sick, it doesn't mean anything.
They can't treat me like vermin.

Your traditional values
and your ridiculous standards
have made you so heartless
and you just shut me out.

All this ostracizing
and social recycling.
There is no humanity.

You never objected before,
why now? You'll be taught a lesson
and you'll rethink it all.

It's just like before, only this time it's bloodlust.
The pleasure is different, but it's still quite the same.
I stole this gun for just this moment,
they'll all be defenseless and crying alone.
Track Name: 「・・・」
Am I so different,
am I that strange, and
if I am ugly
will you still touch me?
It's so confusing,
this state of being.
Please, just don't leave me!
I will get better, right?

Skin is burning,
eyes are welling,
mirrors lying,
father crying.

You hurt so much, I'll
help you feel better.
Father, I love you,
let's stay here together.
It's almost dark out.
I'm oh so tired.
Hope I get better.
Know I'll get better.
You even said so.
I feel the rotting,
rotting within me,
make it go away.

Play with me some
more to pass the
time, it's the best
thing there is to ...

Hey daddy, can we play right now? You look so sad.
Is your work on me making
you feel so stressful?
Will it make you happy if
I took all my clothes off?
I have so much trouble putting them back on now.

No, please don't leave me! I'm changing!
I already feel so lonely.
I know you love me
and that you
are going to find help, but please ...

Have I met daddy's ideal figure?
I might be pretty now.
Is this war? I don't understand.
Track Name: Hanged
sweet angel of the playground
no older than five years
you flutter about the grass
like a butterfly on the wind
only stopping to catch its breath
atop a soft, beautiful flower
your delicate hands and feet
stay with me, while your body
melds with the soil
mari. cremated. bones. investigate. prove.

radiant kitten of the sidewalk
walking along without caution
you'd like to come back with me?
do you like cameras?
they always black out the most important part
no, please be quiet
your skin is delicious, and still so warm
erika. cold. cough. throat. rest. death.

The child's corpse had gone rigid.
I wanted to cross her hands over her breast but they wouldn't budge.
Pretty soon, the body gets red spots all over it.
Big red spots, like the hinomaru flag.
After a while, the body is covered with stretch marks.
It was so rigid before, but now it feels like its full of water.
And it smells. Like nothing you've ever smelled in this whole wide world.
Track Name: Nov. 25th
I'm going home now.
I swear I'm leaving.
I hurt all over.
I'll build the courage to escape.

I could have had a family.
A nice house with a loving husband.
My mother would smile,
she would treasure seeing her grandchildren playing together.

If I could turn back,
make better decisions,
I wouldn't miss them
because I'd be there,
living nice at home, now.
I'd be at school, now, happily.
My very worst times
now seem so wonderful.

It hurts so much.
I don't know if
I can hold out much longer than this.
Will it ever stop?
Get it over with, so I won't
hurt again.